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The Resilience Project’s GEM approach towards happiness
Mental health is a key component of overall wellbeing. It’s the reason why organisations like The Resilience Project dedicate themselves to teaching positive mental health strategies to help people on their journey to happiness. It’s the reason why their founder, Hugh van Cuylenburg, lives by the GEM approach – a framework towards a happier life that’s made up of three important pillars.
Always be thankful for what you have. Take nothing for granted. Thank your grandma for the Christmas sweater, it’ll keep you warm in winter.
Be there for others, put yourself in their shoes. How would I feel if I knitted my heart and soul into a sweater for someone and they never showed any appreciation?
Is somebody getting on your nerves? Take a step back and breathe. Your grandma means well when she playfully pecks you on the cheek for the zillionth time. Patience will salve all.
“It’s about paying attention to the things and moments we have right now, and not worrying about what we don’t have. We practise gratitude by noticing the positives that exist around us, and by being thankful for things, places, and people in our lives.”
- Hugh van Cuylenburg, The Resilience Project.
There’s a cultural stigma that affects people’s ability to say thank you. We think nice things all the time, and yet we hold back. Don’t feel like you need to save it for a rainy day. Thank your colleague. Thank your mother, your brother, your sister. Thank your server for asking if you wanted a cup of water. Thank the person on the street for moving out of your way. Thank your friend for asking what’s wrong. Thank them for listening to you. There are a million reasons to be thankful, let people hear them.
Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack or what's wrong in your life to what you have and what's going well. This positive shift in perspective can lead to a more positive outlook on life and a greater sense of happiness.
“Empathy and kindness are closely linked. So are empathy and compassion. To be empathetic is to put ourselves in the shoes of others to feel and see what they are. We practise this by being kind towards other people.”
- Hugh van Cuylenburg, The Resilience Project.
Before reacting when people approach you in different scenarios, try thinking about how you'd like a friend to respond if the roles were reversed. If someone’s really excited about a new haircut, be excited with them. If somebody just lost a major client, don’t be braggadocios about your new pay rise.
Empathy is a powerful tool for building strong, meaningful relationships with others. When we're truly listening to others, and making a genuine effort to understand their perspective and feelings, we lay the groundwork for meaningful connections which bring joy and happiness to our lives.
“Mindfulness activities help us to be present in the moment and often create a feeling of calm. We practise this through slowing down and paying attention. This includes meditation, colouring in and flow states.”
- Hugh van Cuylenburg, The Resilience Project.
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Start by finding a quiet and comfortable place where you can sit or lie down without distraction. |
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Focus on your breath and bring your attention to the physical sensation of breathing in and out. |
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Notice any thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations that arise, without judgment. Acknowledge them and let them go. |
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Try to stay in the present moment and avoid getting caught up in the past or future. |
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Practice regularly, even if it's just for a few minutes a day. It can be helpful to set aside a specific time to do so. |
Through regular mindfulness practice, you can develop greater resilience to stress and adversity, which will enable you to cope with difficult situations more effectively and bounce back from setbacks with greater ease. This increased resilience can have a positive impact on all areas of your life, from work to relationships and beyond.
If you’d like further resources on how to practice these techniques, visit a host of free activities, videos and podcasts at https://theresilienceproject.com.au/at-home/ or their range of wellbeing journals and books at https://theresilienceproject.com.au/shop/
Practising GEM won't necessarily change your life overnight. It's not some sort of silver bullet to all our problems. What practising GEM in our day-to-day lives does, and what the research says it does, is it makes us more likely to scan the world for positives. This positive outlook is the key to leading happier and more resilient lives. If you want to hear more about the stories and inspiration behind GEM, tune in to Hugh van Cuylenburg's Amazon Prime video special.
Check out the trailer below.
